Dear Diary

When I was a wee lass, my big sister received a diary for Christmas.  She was five years older than I and she didn't particularly enjoy having a little sister constantly pestering her.  I was intrigued by this strange book of blank pages secured from prying eyes by lock and key.  I also got the word diary confused with the word diarrhea.  Whenever I asked her what she wrote in her diarrhea, she just got mad at me.  Her anger made me even more curious.  I believe I attempted to open it when she wasn't around, but was never successful.  I'll never know what secrets were secured in her diary.

I got a diary of my own when I was older.  I tried to use it, but never got into it because it seemed like a homework assignment.  That's how I feel about the migraine diary.  It's a homework assignment.  Not only is it homework, but it's on a subject (migraines) that I hate.  Am I the only one out there who despises that stupid migraine diary? I have been so bad about keeping it updated in the past.  I only do it when a doctor is adamant that I keep it updated.  I've been disciplined and have kept my migraine diary for seven straight months this year.  (Granted, I have only done it because I was properly motivated...my doctor needed it to include it in the paperwork for treatment pre-authorization to my insurance company.)

Several months ago I promised my doctor that I would be vigilant and keep detailed records.  I created a beautiful migraine diary form in Microsoft Excel.  I presented several months worth of diary forms to him recently and he perused them for a few minutes before saying, "You're borderline obsessive compulsive, am I right?"  If by "obsessive compulsive" he was referring to how I record my pain level as experienced at four intervals each day, along with a section to mark the migraine symptoms experienced, and another section to mark down any medication taken; then taking said information and printing out a one page report for each month that is centered both vertically and horizontally on the page, then I guess the answer is yes.  I could also take the data and make a beautiful graph of my pain levels if he'd like, but I didn't bring that to his attention because I didn't want to come off even more OCD than he already thought I was.  And for the record, I prefer to think of myself as detail-oriented, not obsessive compulsive.

My form is a work of art.  Besides, what was he expecting to see?  A diary like I had in junior high school where I dotted each i with a heart?  Maybe something like this:

Dear Diary,

Today I had a hellacious migraine.  One of my co-workers turned on the fluorescent lights at work.  Don't they understand how bad the lights hurt my eyes when I have an effing migraine?  I put on my sunglasses to shield my eyes from the evil light, and now I'm certain that my co-workers think I put my shades on because I was nursing a hangover from the night before.  Great.  To make matters worse, my migraine intensified by noon and I had to leave work early.

Crankily Yours,

Katie

Isn't it easier to mark down that my migraine was a pain level 5 in the morning and a pain level 7 at noon, then mark a box that my migraine was accompanied by light-sensitivity and another box that indicates an inability to work?

I know my doctor liked my form and I think it's funny that he thought I was obsessive compulsive.  Little does he know that I have worked a number of years in jobs where presentation of presented material has become my forte.

When the doctor asked if I was borderline obsessive compulsive I laughed and said, "Maybe."  My hubby happened to be at this appointment with me.  He laughed at the same time and said, matter-of-factly, "Yes."  I gave him serious stink eye over his response.